Complacency was a large contributor to last year's financial sector meltdown. So many quants had parroted the infallibility of mathematically based risk management models that otherwise-intelligent executives willfully gambled their businesses on formulas that they themselves did not properly understand.Come to think of it, unconditional belief in collective thought has caused a lot of problems recently. "House prices will never go down." "The levees will hold." "Algorithms can manage risk." With hindsight, these beliefs now seem patently absurd, but at the time, people accepted them as facts.
George Carlin once said that our thoughts can only be as strong as our language. If we use weak language, we will wind up thinking weak thoughts. As an editor, that is something I always have to keep in mind, and as a result, I spend a lot of time deleting clichés. Everyone uses them without thinking twice. (See?) And that's the problem. They are weak, unoriginal and no longer convey any clear meaning.
In many cases, these things your grandmother instilled in you were not even true. I hate to break it to you, but a lot of folksy wisdom you repeat without even paying attention is either nonsensical or simply inaccurate. Here are a few such phrases that I don't ever want to hear again — no matter what Nana says.
Don't count your money while you're sitting at the table
This is a silly superstition that was popularized by the Kenny Rogers song "The Gambler." The logic is that you should not count your winnings because the game is still being played, and you could easily lose all that money. But really it is just terrible advice. If you want to play poker well and bet properly, you need to know exactly how much money you have. Count your money.
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades
You forgot archery, curling, bocce and parallel parking.
Slept like a baby
I have never actually owned a baby, per se, but I have seen new parents walk around the office with giant bags under their eyes for years after Timmy is born. I have also been inside a lot of planes and many movie theaters. These little people are not strong sleepers. You want to see a guy who sleeps well, swing by my dad's den during the second half of a Monday Night Football game.
Whatever floats your boat
That would be water, no?
All good things must come to an end
You know what are really good? Slurpees. Whether it is Fanta Orange, Hawaiian Punch Red or Slurpurita Pomegranate, those things are delicious. And guess what? 7-11 is open 24/7, 365. No end in sight.
I wouldn't trust that guy as far as I could throw him
The guy I sit next to at work is only 5'6" and research shows that I could probably toss him about 13 feet. So I shouldn't trust him 13 feet is what you mean to say? Sorry, but distance is not a proper unit of credibility.
Have your cake and eat it too
What kind of masochists let people have cake but not eat it? Has this ever happened? I cannot say I have ever in my life had possession of cake and not eaten it, also.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em
That is horrible advice to give your child. Please tell her to train harder instead.
All's fair in love and war
What's up with all this divorce then? And why do we need the Geneva Conventions?
Last, but not least
Don't lie. If it wasn't least, you would have said it earlier. If it is last, it is usually least. For example, I only included this one because I needed an extra forty words to fill the page.